i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
