I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
