He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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