It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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