I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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