I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
