Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
