Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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