is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
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I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Who died my cat blue again?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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