My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
