They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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