Im at strip club and am horny
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
