fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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