R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
