I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize