I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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