Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
