Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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