The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
