literally had 100 drinks last night.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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