Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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