Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
