Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
