I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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