someone get that fucking seahorse.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
