i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
