break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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