I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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