is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
