I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
