Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
