Nicole vs. Life
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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