East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
