I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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