is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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