everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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