i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
