Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
