she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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