I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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