spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
