How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize