hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
