you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
