sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
