Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
