Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
