His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
