ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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