The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
