Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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