I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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