Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
