Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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